FICTION: In 38 words or less, a vivid snapshot of a beloved yet often misunderstood character from traditional folklore, exploring his neglected psychology in lyrical new ways, full of useful information drawn from original research about the micro-economics of the artisanal firewood trade, ultimately forcing us to ask whether we can ever really know another person, much less ourselves.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear? Fuzzy Wuzzy was a hypocrite. I stopped by the estate sale to see this “all natural” firewood he kept trying to sell me. It’s a scam. No way a woodchuck chucked all that.
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This story belongs to a new genre I call the shorty-short-short, because it’s written in 38 words or less. The shorty-short-short is going to save literature from obsolescence because it’s even shorter than the short-short story. It’s less “flash fiction” and more “flash—what the heck was that?” As literature enters the age of Twitter, YouTube, and iPhone, the reader’s attention span is—never mind, I’m boring you.
For this piece I left the campus of my MFA program and journeyed into the surrounding rural areas, where I encountered some very local people who are very real, and very plain. Their community has a tradition of telling stories about firewood, estate sales, and bears—stories that are rarely written down, much less submitted to a major New York publishing house. From my family tree I knew that my great-great-great-grandmother had lived in this region for a while, so for me, writing this shorty-short-short was a work of self-discovery, as well as a Pushcart-worthy statement about literature, firewood, and America. It’s technically “fiction,” but since I have a hereditary connection to the material, every word is absolutely true.
To fully understand the psychology of Fuzzy Wuzzy, I researched classic American tongue twisters at the campus library. I frequently worked six to eight hours a day. Sometimes I went without coffee. Thanks to my research, I was able to draw connections between Fuzzy Wuzzy (or rather, our present-day conception of Fuzzy Wuzzy) and other notable figures such as Anwar Sadat, Charles Manson, Gloria Estefan, and the pitching staff of the 1977 Chicago White Sox. If you read it closely, you’ll see how these comparisons inform the story. But mostly I based the character of Fuzzy Wuzzy on this guy I used to know in high school.
The narration is first-person singular, but I prefer to think we’re all embodied in this one narrator, since we’re all spectators and participants in the death of Fuzzy Wuzzy—and, by extension, complicit in the exploitation of artisanal firewood craftsmen and the death of the American dream.
fictionadvocate
July 9, 2009 at 11:30 am
Our law firm serves as counsel to the estate of Fuzzy Wuzzy, owner of all property rights in the Wuzzit Natural Wood Corporation (WNWC). Through California State’s far-reaching and uninterrupted use and promotion of WNWC’s products and services, the WNWC brand is recognized around the world, and its various properties have acquired substantial good will, particularly among its rural and nature enthusiast clientele.
It recently has come to WNWC’s attention that your website, “The Fiction Advocate” has conveyed to its readers falsified and misleading information pertaining to the natural nature of Wuzzit Natural Wood Corporation’s all natural firewood (Patent #4670628). We caution that we have not authorized Fuzzy Wuzzy’s name or logo to be used in any web-related materials or in any presentation. We are also examining whether the actions of The Fiction Advocate may have violated other federal laws, including (among others) the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, the Chuckwood Espionage Act, the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, the Natural Woods Seller’s Protection Act, and the Consumer Fraud and Abuse Act.
WNWC is filing a motion for preliminary and permanent injunctive relief against your website, to prevent the any anticipated actions against their properties, logo, or trademark. WNWC is actively seeking a temporary restraining order and other injunctive relief in this matter. Failure to comply with these requests may expose you or your organization to an action for injunctive relief or monetary damages, and any other relief permitted under state and federal law, including court costs and attorneys’ fees.
Accordingly, Wuzzit Natural Wood Corporation hereby requests that you immediately cease and desist from any disclosure of information noted above If you fail to comply with these requests, WNWC will have no choice but to proceed in a manner appropriate to protect its valuable intellectual property rights.
Signed,
Your mom
dannybayridge
July 9, 2009 at 1:40 pm
This calls for a sequel:
“Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, downed them all in one sitting, glanced at his ex-girlfriend in her heroin stupor on the couch, and tried to weep for Fuzzy Wuzzy. Could nothing tickle his pickle?”
Suck it, WNWC. You can’t file an injunction against art!!!!!!!!!!!
fictionadvocate
July 9, 2009 at 2:07 pm